Friday, January 8, 2010

Why do I feel like it just is not ENOUGH.....

Disappointed in myself. Not only was I unable to get out of bed this morning for my 4am workout but I indulged in some snacking last night. At 9pm I was cracking open shelled peanuts and I had 3 fist fulls. OK my fists are pretty small but still not part of the plan. Scale this AM showed no gain but that is not the point.

So I went to bed feeling guilty and thought OK really time to stick to my goals. So I thought I have been successful when I challenged myself, put up deadline. The thing is losing weight is not a priority for me but losing body fat is, so I will look at that. I do wish I had a more accurate way of tracking it.

I know I have come along way and even with the recent changes of working full-time being out of the house 60 hours a week I have been discipline enough to workout at least 4 days a week, pack my lunch everyday and really try to take care of myself. But I wonder why that is not enough? It should be right? Well maybe it should - but not for me. So I will have to try harder, each and everyday. Maybe yesterday was just my hormones imbalance grabbing the second and third handful of peanuts. Maybe it was slight work related stress, getting ready for the weekend and try to minimize the chores and tasks I want to complete by the end of the day. Maybe it is the report and deliver ables I need to have done by the end of the day to my Collections VP. Nobody ever said being a manager of a collection floor was going to be easy. No it is my job and now is the opportunity to prove myself. Prove myself to my fellow colleagues, VP'S and the Senior VP's. Yes that reminds me in February I have a quarterly presentation to Senior Management about my role as a Collections Manager. Wow, maybe I have a lot on my plate.

1 comment: